Worse Than Detroit – Robert Plant
Here is California we are in the midst of a gubernatorial campaign. Why it’s called a gubernatorial contest and not a governatorial one is something I may ask one of my English professor brothers some day. And since we’re on the subject, can I call the winner Goober instead of Governor?
One of the candidates is billionaire –billionairess?- Meg Whitman. Ms. Whitman is worth around 1.3 billion bucks and has spent, the last time I looked, $119 million on her campaign, but spending that much doesn’t make her any more qualified for the post, just like it doesn’t make her any less qualified. It just makes her someone who really, really, really wants the job. Personally, if I had enough money that I could spare $119 million, you would never see me. I would change my name to Awesome Powerman, get hair implants, and move to Samoa or AT&T Park. But Meg wants to be Goobernor and that is what this blog is about, kind of.
Today in the paper there is a quote from her where she compares the California city of Fresno to Detroit, Michigan. The quote, out of context, is, “Fresno looks like Detroit. It's awful." Now first of all, Fresno looks nothing like Detroit. Google “ruins of Detroit” and you’ll get photo after photo of elegant and majestic houses, office buildings, theaters, schools, factories, hotels, and concert halls that look as if after the last concert was played, the last guest checked out, the last move credits rolled, and the final student went home for the day, the doors were shut and everyone just walked away, never to come back . Fresno has nothing like that.
The closest thing Fresno has to those ruins is the Fresno Hotel. Built in 1923, the brick hotel is done in what is called the Beaux-Arts architecture style, and sits empty. That’s one building compared to bunches, and despite the French architectural pedigree, it is rather plain. At first I thought sure, Fresno ain’t no Bakersfield or Glendale when it comes to true beauty, but Detroit? Come on. I looked at Detroit online. Detroit sits next to Lake Erie, which I understand was so polluted at one time it caught fire. I figured okay, burning water is a bad thing, but then I read where a critter called the zebra mussel, which can filter water, was introduced to that lake and now it is a lot cleaner. So if Detroit is cleaning up her act, and water, why is being compared to her so bad?
Besides, Detroit is just next to Canada? It’s like being next to a foreign country. Fresno? Fresno is next to Clovis, which is like being next to a suburb of Fresno.
The Whitman talking heads have suggested that their candidate was speaking about Fresno’s economic woes and not her looks. But the beauty, or lack thereof, of Fresno or her unemployment rate is not the issue here as I see it. The issue is that none of the folks that are upset about the Goober hopeful’s comment, nor any of the gang that are shrugging it off have any problem with Ted Nugent’s hometown being held up as the standard for what a lousy city is like.
I’ve only met one person from Detroit in my life. He was in boot camp with me and if I’m remembering correctly, he finished first in our company and as such, had first choice from the list of available units for his first assignment. He chose a tugboat in Detroit. I was tenth and got Honolulu.
So from a Fresno boy to those who love the Motor City, please accept my most humble apology and let me say that I do not judge Detroit for her lost beauty. I do not filter the ugliness of any assemblage of buildings and streets through a Detroit filter before judgment. Let Detroit be Detroit in all her glory or condemnation and let Fresno be the same.
Signed Awesome Powerman, future king of Pago Pago.
